Steve watched hungrily as Darren's tongue curled inside the Reese's' Peanut Butter Cup and brought the filling back into his mouth, making smacking noises with his lips as he tasted the flavor.

Steve wanted to taste the flavor as well, but not the candy's flavor.

Feeling the other's eyes, Darren looked up and his ears reddened considerably. He extended his hand, holding out the candy bag. “Want one?” he asked.

Steve shook his head, smiling. “I'm lactose intolerant, remember?”

Darren flushed again, realizing his mistake, and nodded.

It was Halloween night, and the two young men were sitting in the living room of their small flat, rotting their teeth with candy and watching both old and new horror flicks to pass the time. For the last three hours, both Salem's Lot and Darkness Falls had entered the VHS system.

“Let's do something more gory now,” Darren had suggested.

Now, Steve was both amused and pleased to watch Darren chew mindlessly on his candy while John told Jeff in Saw III that he could either forgive him or take revenge, resulting in Jeff picking up a circular saw and saying “I forgive you” before slashing John's throat. Steve enjoyed men with strong stomachs who could handle gore, let alone eat during a horror movie.

On the subject of stomachs, Steve glanced down, his eyes caressing the flesh that showed just below the trim of Darren's clothes.

Darren noticed. He shifted uncomfortably, pulling his Cinema Bizarre t-shirt further down to cover his belt, but Steve only smiled. Indeed, Darren had gained a bit of weight in the past year, but it only made his body shape more pronounced, more soft, more cuddly. More fuckable.

Steve moved forward, determined to snag a kiss, but Darren was self-conscious and grumpy now.

He moved further down the couch and away.

Lunging forward, Steve pounced on him with a grunt and the two boys wrestled playfully until Steve was in Darren's place with Londoner in his lap.

Darren grinned, panting, red-faced and triumphant. “I win.”

But Steve shook his head and sat up, pressing his lips to the other's in a delicate kiss. He winked. “I win.”

Darren's eyebrows rose high on his forehead. “Really, now?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You're sitting on my Reese's.”

“Shit.”

What I miss about being a kid is having no care at all in the world, simply living and enjoying the company of my sisters- holding each other when we cried, laughing when each other laughed and just following our instincts to have fun. Now, I have depression so I worry about dying, I don't go outside anymore, I've had multiple suicide thoughts, my sister is going off to college and both of them have moved out, my eldest sister is married and now lives down in Texas and I'm here alone with my mom, dog and fish.

I mean, technically, I'm still a kid at 14, but I don't feel like one anymore and I wish I did. I wish I never found the computer, never learned about sex, never watched porn. But then again, if I didn't, I might have never gotten so good at writing. I still miss the innocence though, the ignorance of the world around me. I guess that's what it really means to grow up- to loose ignorance and gain understanding, to become aware of the pain of the world and take part of it. You gain pain. And it hurts. And you can never go back. Once you've learned it, you never forget it.

I'm really worried xD My mom tells me that I've got nothing to worry about- they have a vaccine, they're just waiting for the disease to settle so it doesn't become accustomed to the cure. Our country's a lot cleaner and we've got hospitals. The only death was a baby visiting its parents in Texas and he was from Mexico, so. Yeah.

I'm carrying around hand sanitizer with me, washing my hands every chance I get, taking a shower right after school every day, not touching my face. I've got necrophobia (fear of death) so that may be why. Plus, my state is one with the most people WITH it, so, it sucks xD